Mistakes Conservatives Make

• You're "pro-life" but you support the death penalty.
• You think cutting funds from Education helps America's children.
• You claim ketchup is a vegetable.
• You think everyone on welfare is lazy.
• You rant and rave about the evils of drugs... unless it's alcohol or tobacco.
• You feel, everyone was "created equal" if the person is straight and white.
• You find humor in saying "Algore" and "President Hillary"
• You think anything left of Richard Nixon is communism.
• You think Hillary Rodham Clinton is out to destroy your family and your country.
• You tell people God is a capitalist.
• You think workers should be paid as little as they will accept.
• You think the media is led by "liberal" multi-conglomerate owners.
• You think everyone in America should be fluent in English - right now!
• You think the Second Amendment is a sacred document, carved in granite.
• You think the First and Fourth Amendments "need some work. "
• You blame minority problems on the minority with the problem.
• You say Dan Quayle is experienced and intelligent, but you'd never vote for him.
• You think poor people should "knock it off."
• You want government enforced religion, if it's the one you believe in.
• You scream about all that awful filth on television, but when you praise pure capitalism, you say the market should make those kinds of decisions.
• You think the poor get off easy on their taxes.
• You think Al Gore to the unabomber have a lot in common.
• You care whether or not Clinton "inhaled"
• You think abortions should be against the law, except for that one time when your daughter needed one.
• You think only Democrats cheat when raising campaign money.
• You think only Democrats demonize their opponents.
• You think that because liberals don't like war they hate the boys in our military.
• You change the subject when your point fails to hold water.
• You scream "Play the race card" when we call you on your racism.
• You think affirmative action rewards the lazy (read black) people.
• You believe racism is no longer a problem. After all, the niggers will always complain about something, right?
• You hate taxes , because YOU worked hard for your money!
• You hate taxes, unless a weapons manufacturer in a district represented by Trent Lott or Phil Graam says they're "needed."
• You pass judgment on people based on their income.
• You count your age from conception.
• You think Rush Limbaugh is actually right 97.8 percent of the time, as documented by "The Sullivan Group" in Sacramento.
• You think G. Gordon Liddy's six felonies were "patriotic."
• You think Ollie North told the truth about Iran-Contra, even if Ronald Reagan says it didn't happen that way.
• You think Pat Robertson wants nothing more than more souls for Jesus.
• You think 700 Club News is "fair and honest."
• You think impeachment was about the "Rule of Law."
• And finally, you know you're a conservative if you don't get the point of this.

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