There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really know what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy, Johnny. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, "I'm not a Bush fan." The teacher says, "Why aren't you a bush fan?" Johnny says, "I'm an Al Gore fan". The teacher asks why he's an Al Gore fan. The boy says, Well, my mom's an Al Gore fan and my dad's an Al Gore fan, so I'm an Al Gore fan!" The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, "What if you're mom was a moron and you're dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Johnny says, "Then I would be a Bush fan."
The New GOP Mascot
RNC has announced that it is changing the Republican emblem from an elephant to a condom because it more clearly reflects the Party's political stance :
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing others.
The Republican MO
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
courtesy : Joeve at Bartcop Fourm