10 commandments for Dr. Laura callers
- You will call me "Dr. Laura", because I am a doctor of physiology. Neither my radio show, my television show, nor my books are about physiology, but if you are misled, that's your fault.
- You will commend me on my television show, despite low ratings, stations that have dropped it from their schedule, and sponsors who run screaming when they hear my name.
- You will begin to ask me a moral question. I will begin to answer before you finish your question (some may call this interrupting). If your question is not in harmony with the point I want to make, I will tell you what the REAL issue is. If I can make ANY tie-in to my agendas against the ACLU or American Library Association, I will.
- You will agree with my conclusions about the people involved in your dilemma (whom I probably have never met, but whom I know better than you do), and I will make a recommendation to you based solely on your side of the story (unless you can get these other people on the telephone so that I can nag them, or nag you for them (so long as I get to nag someone)). If you follow my recommendation, and it leads to disaster, you will not hold me responsible, as this is only my opinion, and YOU called ME.
- You will use the terms I tell you to use, such as "shacking up" (living together), "suck it into a sink" (abortion), "shack up honey" (live-in girlfriend), "warm place to put it" (single woman having sex), or just plain "slut" (single woman having sex who is your mother, sister, daughter, or ex-wife).
- You will accept my apology for your sensitivity to my use of the terms "biological error" and "deviant" referring to homosexuality. I apologized in Daily Variety, a publication I'm sure is read by all my listeners, thus I did not have to apologize on the show where I used those terms.
- You will not be offended if, during your call, I blame you for your problem, call you a liar, accuse you of not telling the whole story, claim to care more about your children than you do, or hang up simply because I'm tired of you.
- You will give me facts, not feelings, because I don't care about your feelings, even though you worship me.
- You will not question me about how I can host a radio show, host a television show, manage a charitable foundation, publish books, and sell merchandise while still being a full-time mom. I will, however, call you selfish if you place your child in daycare so you can have ONE job just to keep him clothed, housed, and fed.
- You will do the right thing (listen to and obey me).
Betty Bowers interviews Dr.Laura
I Lub Dr.Laura
Gays can be "cured"
An open letter to Dr. Laura